Sex and exercise and me (of course)

Sex is the most fun form of exercise and is underused as a weight loss tool!!
 
Why this topic on the blog: For the past few weeks business has got quiet, and I'm starting to feel a bit self conscious that I need to shed a few pounds. My regulars are all finding it hard to escape from their real lives (real women) and I want some company and to be spoilt, not to mention enough money to pay the bills and to exercise but in the best way ever invented : )

You may be thinking, I don't want to read about a woman moaning about her weight, I promise this isn't that, well not totally anyway, there is a decent section on how you can help with my mission too.

How much weight do I need to get rid of?  Well to be honest I'd love two stone, but let us be real about this; two stone and I'd be back to prepubescent weight, therefore I will settle for a stone. My reward? Apart from looking hotter, having tighter abs, a body with a bit more definition, my reward will be one of three things depending on how many bookings I get between now and minus 1 stone. You're not really interested in my rewards so I'll leave those to the end of my blog.

Now, I don't want you to feel self conscious about your weight, I love men to be confident in their own body, fat, thin, hairy or not, however it comes (excuse the pun). I have no issue with a little condition as long as it doesn't affect your health, but you pay me to look good and feel good and so it is my job to make sure I stay in shape. It's not that I don't like my body, I do, it's a great, curvy, womanly body made for pleasing men and myself, but it could just do with a bit of tweaking.


Since giving up smoking almost a year ago I have put on half a stone (not since the photos, since the photos I'm only 3lbs bigger so don't panic that you're going to get a whale on your doorstep). All I'm saying is that it won't do me any harm to stop eating ice cream and start exercising again. For those of you who know me well, you'll know that I lead a very busy life and my day job involves sitting in front of a computer, with not really opportunities to go to the gym or classes, or horse ride, or join a local sports team which I'd like to do so I'm settling for walking and jogging on my errands as opposed to driving.

Hmmm, not as exciting as bedroom aerobics you say, agreed, but I don't have a partner and you guys aren't making enough bookings to burn my calories so I'm having to walk, and jog (I wear two sports bras to keep my chest from bouncing around too much). I've done about 8 miles this week, which isn't much but it's better than being stationary.

I am going to start my pole dancing and lap dancing classes again and that will help my waist line and our fun time too. It is such a giggle, girls together attempting tricks on poles, and it's so much harder to do than you think. It's one thing doing the tricks, it's another trying not to show the exertion on your face and looking sexy instead. I have much respect for the girls that do it for a living. I love doing it, I'm just not that great at it yet, but I'm anything if not a tryer.

Where do you come in? Here:


Kissing = 68 calories per hour 
Undressing = at least 8, but I'm sure we could increase that
Massaging = 80+ per hour depending on vigour
SEX = 144 + per 30 mins. The key for high-calorie-burning sex is making it hot and making it last, say experts. 
Moaning and sighing = an extra 18 to 30 calories (good for me as I'm not the quietest)
The best way to maximize calorie-burning during sex is to make sure you orgasm. Experts estimate that women who orgasm during sex burn more calories during lovemaking than those who don’t.
Oral sex = 100 calories per 30 min

So the next time your wife is complaining about her weight, tell her to hop on board and you'll work out with her. If she turns her nose up, firstly is she mental? Secondly CALL ME instead.

So, I hear you ask what can you do to help me reach my goals/target of minus 1 stone? Here are some ideas:

1) Make a booking and let me ride you until we both glisten, perhaps the belly dancing hip rotation, or the ride them deep, or the bouncing up and down on your cock, they all give me a work out and turn me on
2) Help my diet by providing me with a high in protein, low in fat drink from your cock.
3) Perhaps a booking that involves a quick blow job before going for a drink and a natter followed by bedroom aerobics, horizontal, vertical, bent over, fast, slow, hard, soft, deep and shallow?
4) Make a longer booking which involves some activity such as hill walking, horse riding, scrambling, gorge walking, swimming in the sea, surfing, jet skiing, in fact any activity except caving. (If the coast is clear you never know what we could get up to on our activity). We can then get a hot bath/ shower together and get all lathered up, collapse on the bed and massage each others bodies with oil before letting me sit on your cock and thrust until you are spent.
5) Stop giving me chocolates, it's not that I don't appreciate them, I do, too much in fact, but it doesn't help my waist line.
6)  Have fun with me, the more orgasms I have, the more my muscles get used (I promise to repay the favour)
7) Book a really special night out with me to somewhere where I'd have to get really dressed up and I'd want you to be really proud to have me on your arm
8) Book a night with me where we can go through the Karma Sutra together and use muscles we never knew existed
9) Bring some fresh fruit and we can play naked body fruit salad buffet. Eating strawberries from nipples, blueberries from belly buttons, bananas from.... and you get the general idea.
10) Any other suggestions gratefully accepted

Now for my rewards when I hit my target of minus one stone:

Possible reward 1) A Karen Millen dress, something tight, clingy and tailored to show off my figure
Possible reward 2) Underwear, in my dreams stunning Agent Provocateur failing that something that looks and feels equally glamorous without the price tag. (Unfortunately I have too many jobs that I need addressing in my house before I can be outrageous enough to spend vast money on amazing underwear).
Possible reward 3) A holiday, get a tan and strut my minus 1 stone body on the beach in a skimpy bikini.

Bring on the weight loss and the fun and finally the rewards. Spread the word, Foreplay and Sex is the new exercise class. (now there's an idea...................I wonder if Duncan Bannatyne would want a demonstration for his gyms?)